Attention, whoever runs the music at my office building

You can lay off the Christmas music now. And if you're not going to lay off of it, how about at least not piping it into the bathroom? Do you have any idea how hard it is to go when the velvety smooth voice of Lou Rawls is singing O Come All Ye Faithful? I can't figure out if I should take a piss or go go splash on some High Karate and pour myself an Old Fashioned before going out to find some foxy chicks who want to swing.

Lay off the Christmas music. Please.

My back pages

I had plans for some actual content here today, but I've apparently contracted every disease in the world simultaneously. So, when not praying for my own death and nearly passing out in the drug store (fun day around the Shark Fin Hat world headquarters), I did some web surfing. Remember this? Well, lookie here.



What the hell? Who's coming with me to Asia so we can eat food endorsed by Robocop? I wonder if ED-209 is the pitchman for any rival noodles.

I swear to God that I won't do any more Robocop posts until '09.

And here it is, Merry Christmas

So, here's a couple of things on Christmas. First, Ron.

Ron had a happy little Christmas
Ate a waffle and he put away the dishes
Ron read the paper and he went for a run
No one can say that he doesn't know fun

Ron called his mom and his sister
Called his Aunt Jane but he missed her
Ron doesn't go to church these days
Now that he's older and set in his ways

Ron chopped wood and he stacked it up
Poured a little whiskey in his favorite cup
Ron built a fire as the sun went down
King of his world with a royal crown

It's ain't exactly "Yes, Virginia," but it's what I got.

And the Muppets + the Hold Steady = a reason to smile



Have a good day, whoever you are and whatever you're into. Cheers.

Philo Farnsworth and me

I don't watch a lot of TV. I'm not making any kind of big stand here, there are a few shows I try to catch, but I just don't make the time commitment for most television. As a result, I become a bit of a social pariah whenever any of the following come up:

Lost
Heroes
24
ER (This is still on, yes?)
Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
House (Actually, just saw my first episode of this. They showed a little kid bleeding rectally in the first five minutes. Pass.)
Battlestar Galactica
Law & Order in any iteration
CSI
How I Met Your Mother
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars

And so on. But, I've spent this evening catching up on Elvis Costello's Spectacle on the Sundance Channel. Holy lord, this is a fine example of the medium. Each episode is Elvis sitting down with a guest to discuss their mutual love and experiences with music, with performances scattered throughout. So far I've seen the Elton John and Lou Reed episodes, and both were electric. It's easy to forget just what a great musician Elton John is with all of the grand showman aura about him. His episode dispels a lot of that, and Reed's episode breaks through the coldness that has been attributed to him over the years, rightfully or not. This is informative, enjoyable and warm television, something all too rare.

If you're not a music nerd and are starting to doze off after my little spiel above*, you should still give the show a chance. The performances alone are worth the price of admission, as seen below. The ones I've included here are Elvis performing covers of his guests' songs, but there are some incredible duets featured, too.





*Yeah, I realize that could have less to do with whether or you're not a music nerd and more to do with me being a shitty writer, wiseass.

Addendum

The package has been located. It's in the front office of my apartment complex. I am an idiot. That is all.

My Christmas wish...

If I had but one wish this holiday season, it would be for the jackoff that stole the Amazon package left at my door to get cayenne pepper in his eye. And then his brakes fail. And he hits a wall. And his car explodes. All while I'm banging his wife.

Hey, asshole. Are you enjoying the Red Steagall and Supersuckers CDs and the book of short stories by Larry Brown? Isn't that exactly what you were hoping to find when you opened that box? I'm sure that's right up your alley. Dickhole.

Okay. Rant ranted. I refuse to let this make me any more of a misanthrope than I already am. I am going to accept the fact that the world is a horror (see two posts back), and in the context of that, I am going to find something that make me happy. I was going to find some kind of Christmassy song/video to post here, but everything just seemed so cliche, so instead I'm just going to put one that makes me smile. Here. Happy holidays, folks. It's all good in the hood.

Fried chicken

As a life-long resident of the south, I kind of figured we had the market cornered on the world's best fried chicken. However, the fried chicken in Korea appears to be fuckin' amazing...