With apologies to Tom Waits

Jerry the security guard worked hard. Well, Jerry the security guard worked, at least. Cornerback for the high school football team, blew his knee out his first year at junior college before he had a chance to transfer to the university. The job paid decent enough and mostly all he had to do was stand around in the lobby a couple of hours in the morning and then make his rounds.

Jerry waved to all the office rats as they came in every day before they shuffled off to the elevators to go upstairs and do God knows what. Jerry ate his lunch back by the loading docks with the cleaning guys before going back to do his afternoon rounds. Jerry would go home to his wife that had been a cheerleader at the junior college and now worked down at the nail salon and watched Dancing with the Stars every week. Jerry sipped at a glass of George Dickel before he went to sleep every night.

Last night, Jerry waited until that one prick from the accounting firm on 12 was in the revolving door and then jammed his baton in the groove so the little bastard was stuck. Jerry made sure the guy could see when he walked up to his car and pissed on it. Jerry gave him a wave, then took off in his own car, headed south and moving fast.

Jerry hated Dancing with the Stars.