Bread and couches

First off, great big giant Rooms To Go outlet. Look around for a bit, then spot something I like. Big, comfy looking couch. I’m looking for maximum nap support. I sit in it, stretch out a bit. This is definitely in the lead. There’s also a bed shaped like a pirate ship that I swear to God I would have bought five years ago. Stupid maturity.

BUT—only a fool buys the first thing he sees. So, I’m off to the next place in the Jimmy Carter Blvd corridor of cheap-ass furniture. The store: Underpriced Furniture. I can’t fault the name. They’re also giving away hot dogs and cokes. Mmmm. After wandering around a bit, I find myself in the kids’ section, where there is a GIANT DINOSAUR. It’s also 3000 bucks, so there it stays. I look around, but nothing compares to my first love back at Rooms To Go.

Nothing until I go back to the warehouse, that is, where I find a skee-ball machine. So very tempting. I will find a way to make that work someday. On the way out, I see a guy wearing a somewhat familiar-looking t-shirt. In the early 90’s, Taco Bell had a promotion where if you ate enough tacos you could trade in your punchcard for a Bullwinkle t-shirt. I got one, of course, because I was a fatass and I liked Bullwinkle.

The guy in the parking lot was wearing that shirt. I couldn’t believe it. It was in pretty good shape, too, for being at least 15 years old. My hat’s off to you, sir.

I think I’m on my back to the Sharkfinhatcave, but then I pass an art store. My favorite painting is Edward Hopper’s The Nighthawks, and I’ve been meaning to get a framed print of it for a while. I pull into the art store and the first thing I notice is a painting of Heath Ledger’s Joker. Okay. I go inside, and there’s no one there. No customers, no one working, nothing. I walk around the showroom for a minute, than back into the warehouse. Quiet as a tomb. I’m in there for nearly 10 minutes and I never see a soul. At this point, I figure I’ve stumbled across a crime scene and I hightail it out of there.

Back home to regroup and snooze for a it. After a call to the mighty Justin, he tells me where and he and Mrs. Justin got their couch, so I head over to American Signature.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present The Hawkeye.

I believe we have a winner, but I still don’t want to jump too soon. I head back home after a quick detour through the World Market. Another phone call to Justin, and I’m meeting him and his sister Lindsay down at IKEA. I look at the couches there, but nothing compares to the Hawkeye. Justin locates the shelves he needs, and we’re on our way after an aborted attempt to eat in the IKEA cafeteria.

To be continued…